"Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring"

Yes, that's right, you know you do it too. You see that "perfect" person, you pretend that you harbour NO jealousy or envy within yourself, you remind yourself that you're perfectly happy with everything about yourself and your life, and then.....it happens. They screw up, they fall flat on their face after stepping down on their stiletto heels the wrong way, they get turned down by that slutty looking girl, they wear something a little too tight making them actually look like they have a gut (even though it's only sticking out about one centimetre), they get drunk to the point of utter "drunkness" and can't help but "let it all out"...literally....yes, that's right, they screw up their rep of perfection!!! OH NO!!! Then what?? Then you...a) act concerned....while feeling some sort of great satisfaction inside; b) give a good spirited laugh...while adding a little extra resentment and satisfaction to that laugh in your mind; c) ignore it...yet turn around since you can't hold yourself back from producing the biggest smile you've ever had!!!! That's right...we are all cruel people!!!

As I write this I'm sitting in front of my computer, thinking about the alcohol, cookies, pizza, and cake i downed yesterday; and the excess of food i have to look forward to today when i head over to the dinner/lunch parties of friends (for those of you who know what a slava is, you understand what i mean by excess food!!). Sitting here and writing this with my school books beside me so that i feel like i'm actually trying to do some work even though i haven't even attempted to open them, i realize how easy it is to say "i need to go to the gym". The hard part is actually getting my ass up to do it!!! Don't you just wish you could get your workout simply by watching those tv exercise shows...that would be great....lose weight while losing brain cells.....neither your brain or body would be active, but hell, why can't it be true....why can't life be simple....why can't we eat like pigs and be as thin as we want. Ah screw it...the hell with being thin...enjoy life....eat that cake, down that wine, ........and then curse those at the gym as you stress about the fact that you too need to work out!!!! aaarrrrggghhhhh.